Before you go on, please read:
"A Warning - Straight From My Heart" if you haven't already.
When I changed the last slide of "Who Do We Think We Are?", I was suffering from the fracturing of a church family I had been a part of all my life. For over 40 years I loved the people, we were very close, closer than most people in this world ever experience. Trust and faith were broken, the fellowship of leaders from different churches we counted on to help us did nothing; they felt from God that they should leave things alone. The church splintered into 3 groups, none of which I seemed to be a part of.
Being the son of a pastor, it was different than the other church splits I had ever seen. People did not stop serving the Lord and "fall away". The people still kept their faith, but it seemed they preferred to love those who were more like themselves and saw things the way they did. They began to distance themselves from the others and even started to blame others for what happened. Writing the last slide was my response to what I saw happening.
As a father of 6 children, one of the things that grieves me most is when my children fight amongst themselves. I love each of them equally. They each have very different qualities, but that doesn’t mean they all don’t get in trouble with me from time to time.
My children can fight and argue over anything, if they can’t find uncommon ground, they will invent it. Make-believe is an immature way of looking at the world, but necessary in a child’s development and exclusion can be just as devastating to a little one as fighting can be.
I remember an example of this when my children were smaller. We were visiting with a home group of believers; all of us were sitting around in a circle with the children in the middle when one of my boys noticed a toy with his initials on it. His 4 year old brother was playing with it and the six year old wanted it back. The older boy reached over in front of everybody ripped the toy out of his brother’s hand and in a loud voice yelled “THAT’S MINE!” Well, after dying a thousand deaths from embarrassment, and quickly praying for God’s guidance, I separated him to the bathroom for some conversation and a spanking. I felt impressed to tell him that he was “not loving his brother” when he did that.
I told him, “By doing what you did, you were essentially telling your brother, ‘You are not important enough to play with my toys’, ‘I don’t love you’”. I told him that Jesus wants us to love our brothers. I asked him to go to his younger brother in front of everyone, give him a hug, and tell him to apologize for “not loving him”; then to tell his brother that he would try to do better from now on. He was stubborn and didn’t do it till the next morning when all was forgiven. Later the next day, when we were reading Matthew 18 :6 “But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea”, he surprised me by spontaneously bursting into tears…he understood.
I came to realize a while back that my children have an immature concept of love. They think that seeing eye-to-eye is a prerequisite for fellowship. They really do desire to have fellowship and play with one another, but can only envision their relationship within the framework of how they understand the universe, their PERSPECTIVE. As they grow, their relationships with each other will change and become more mature; they will realize their siblings are different and embrace the differences as strengths instead of weaknesses.
Now that my natural brothers and I are adults, I am happy they have skills in different areas than I do. I can enjoy the benefits and can go to them for advice on flooring or when it comes to purchasing a quality lawn tractor. It doesn’t matter that one of us is older or younger than the other. Each man has his own specialty and having this relationship can benefit others.
Biblical relationship in a family comes through the father. If I know that a person has relationship with my Heavenly Father, I have no choice in the matter. They ARE my brother no matter how much I currently dislike them or hate the fact that we're related. Jesus said in John 13:34-35
A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.
God's love is an active thing, a verb if you will. I can only imagine how our Heavenly Father must feel to see when we don’t love our brother by excluding him from what God gives us. It gladens my heart as a father to see my children sharing and playing together. Are my immature fears or ideas really more important than my brother? Does God that created the universe agree?
How mature is my perspective in God's eyes?
"A Warning - Straight From My Heart" if you haven't already.
When I changed the last slide of "Who Do We Think We Are?", I was suffering from the fracturing of a church family I had been a part of all my life. For over 40 years I loved the people, we were very close, closer than most people in this world ever experience. Trust and faith were broken, the fellowship of leaders from different churches we counted on to help us did nothing; they felt from God that they should leave things alone. The church splintered into 3 groups, none of which I seemed to be a part of.
Being the son of a pastor, it was different than the other church splits I had ever seen. People did not stop serving the Lord and "fall away". The people still kept their faith, but it seemed they preferred to love those who were more like themselves and saw things the way they did. They began to distance themselves from the others and even started to blame others for what happened. Writing the last slide was my response to what I saw happening.
As a father of 6 children, one of the things that grieves me most is when my children fight amongst themselves. I love each of them equally. They each have very different qualities, but that doesn’t mean they all don’t get in trouble with me from time to time.
My children can fight and argue over anything, if they can’t find uncommon ground, they will invent it. Make-believe is an immature way of looking at the world, but necessary in a child’s development and exclusion can be just as devastating to a little one as fighting can be.
I remember an example of this when my children were smaller. We were visiting with a home group of believers; all of us were sitting around in a circle with the children in the middle when one of my boys noticed a toy with his initials on it. His 4 year old brother was playing with it and the six year old wanted it back. The older boy reached over in front of everybody ripped the toy out of his brother’s hand and in a loud voice yelled “THAT’S MINE!” Well, after dying a thousand deaths from embarrassment, and quickly praying for God’s guidance, I separated him to the bathroom for some conversation and a spanking. I felt impressed to tell him that he was “not loving his brother” when he did that.
I told him, “By doing what you did, you were essentially telling your brother, ‘You are not important enough to play with my toys’, ‘I don’t love you’”. I told him that Jesus wants us to love our brothers. I asked him to go to his younger brother in front of everyone, give him a hug, and tell him to apologize for “not loving him”; then to tell his brother that he would try to do better from now on. He was stubborn and didn’t do it till the next morning when all was forgiven. Later the next day, when we were reading Matthew 18 :6 “But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea”, he surprised me by spontaneously bursting into tears…he understood.
I came to realize a while back that my children have an immature concept of love. They think that seeing eye-to-eye is a prerequisite for fellowship. They really do desire to have fellowship and play with one another, but can only envision their relationship within the framework of how they understand the universe, their PERSPECTIVE. As they grow, their relationships with each other will change and become more mature; they will realize their siblings are different and embrace the differences as strengths instead of weaknesses.
Now that my natural brothers and I are adults, I am happy they have skills in different areas than I do. I can enjoy the benefits and can go to them for advice on flooring or when it comes to purchasing a quality lawn tractor. It doesn’t matter that one of us is older or younger than the other. Each man has his own specialty and having this relationship can benefit others.
Biblical relationship in a family comes through the father. If I know that a person has relationship with my Heavenly Father, I have no choice in the matter. They ARE my brother no matter how much I currently dislike them or hate the fact that we're related. Jesus said in John 13:34-35
A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.
God's love is an active thing, a verb if you will. I can only imagine how our Heavenly Father must feel to see when we don’t love our brother by excluding him from what God gives us. It gladens my heart as a father to see my children sharing and playing together. Are my immature fears or ideas really more important than my brother? Does God that created the universe agree?
How mature is my perspective in God's eyes?
Very good thoughts! I am amazed at how many years I felt that there was an "us" versus "them". How blinded I was to the scripture, Titus 2:11 - 11, "For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men."
ReplyDeleteI guess I didn't understand that ALL means...ALL. Not just those who believe what I do.
This reminds me of a verse to a song God gave me years ago:
ReplyDelete"When I look back on all of those I've hurt throughout my life
By walking recklessly in my own spirit
On those who may have heard the call and someday made the Bride
Am I the one who caused them not to hear it?
How I wish I could ask them to forgive me
But some are gone, and God only knows where
May I never forget Your mercy to me
If anyone at all, O Lord, it's me who should be there..."
This is a great perspective: the father viewing how his children treat one another.
Sorry all, I'm having difficulty adding your comments because I made a mistake when I set up the blog. I'll try and get it fixed ASAP.
ReplyDelete